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Run 3, 2004

Rachel West (Director)
 
Rachel is currently recovering from injuries sustained while rolling around on the floor laughing during rehearsals. She claims that her recovery is being hampered by nuisance calls from Steven Spielberg, who is trying to persuade her to star in his next film and to write and direct a comic screenplay. She said it is worse than being pursued by the BBC. She may have to employ a public relations consultant to lower her profile or possibly just try exaggerating her natural stoop. We all hope that she recovers soon.

Phil Lunn (Musical Director)
 
Returning to NewsRevue after a spell in the real world, Philip is the one whose hair you can see just poking above the piano. He has to stay on stage for the full show. Not like those actors, those layabouts who sit there in the dressing room for half the time. They wouldn’t know hard work if it had hit them on the head with a big sign saying ‘hard work”. But ask them if they think they have much to do, and, oh, they’ll go on so much…[cut by editor] PS. Applications for the newly vacated post of Musical Director to mail@newsrevue.com.To start immediately.

Fiona Hunter (Performer)
 
Being the love child of Dame Judi Dench and Rik Mayall, Fiona had an interesting upbringing juggling between the RSC and Bottom. Due to her limited vocabulary consisting of ‘Thee’, ‘Thou’ and well…’Arse’, her parents sent her off to train. Since graduating in 2002 she has gained vast experience in the comedy world ranging from stand-up to playing a 1930’s flapper in a summer rep season. Fiona is currently part of the well acclaimed, ‘HUNTING SCOF’ comedy writing duo and is looking forward to filming the new Ab Fab/ Smack the Pony/ Fingers crossed we get commissioned sketch show.

Libby Curley (Performer)
 
After getting a degree in Acting, Libby has mainly been…poor. She likes drinking tea and embraces all biscuits without prejudice (except ones with raisins). Most of Libby’s spare time is devoted to her passion for Racing in Armour – which she has pursued to Olympic level, snagging her first place in the prestigious ‘Elizabeth Montgomery - Filchbollok cup in 2001.

Menno Kuijper (Performer)
 
After a five hour meeting with a leading high street retailer discussing their range of toilet tissue Menno decided to pack in his job as a brand consultant and swap the boardroom for the stage. He then found himself jumping around a Christmas tree in ‘Love Actually’ (naked), running through a forest for a documentary (naked) and starring in ‘Naked Angels in Beach Paradise’…(naked). “Wearing a costume will be a great challenge” he says, “but I think I’ll be able to manage it”.

Richard Costello (Performer)
 
Richard is an Actor. He also writes – mainly begging letters and cover letters for his résumé, but also the odd script. His love for sharp objects brought him to the pinnacle of his career to date as a roman warrior in the movie ‘Gladiator’. Now, after a long downward spiral he finds himself at the Canal Cafe Theatre doing NewsRevue, again. If anyone knows how it is possible to be an actor and earn a living, please tell him as he would like to buy a dog.